Monday MindBlast

I never write about  political stuff because I laugh so much at the shenanigans of the elected, selected, self-imposed leaders that I mis-type almost every other word while I guffaw. Never heard a truer statement than this one made by a wag  - the problem with political jokes is that  they get elected .

 Imagine how terrible life would be if we were not blessed enough to open the papers each morning and explode with laughter . People walk, meditate or do stretch exercises. Me ? I just start my day with belly aches and stitches on my sides . There is always some jackass who thinks his or her  statement that will shake the world - all it does is shake my belly muscles. So while have my tea my stomach muscles do more rolls than the average belly dancer. With a good costume designer and a make-up artist I may have an alternate occupation. While they spend their five odd years doing whatever it is they do , for I don't see them doing anything useful ( except that they promise if they comeback for the next five they will do it) I am increasing my longevity with laughter therapy. My only fear is they will realise their great service to the general public  and slap a tax on that. They have some time-tested comic one-liners on the usual subjects :  women, economy , drought, power crisis, water shortage , floods , price rise, culture, religion,bomb blasts. All the statements  seem to begin with "profound"and wind  down with "condemnable" It does not matter but now and then someone WILL go original and say stuff like rape is always with consent of women or beef eating has caused sexual depravity , women who use make-up are dishonourable or men who respect women are sissies or bras cause floods ( ok I made that up - they will not mess with the billion dollar lingerie industry) .   

The next lot that make me hold the furniture while I have tears streaming down my cheeks are film stars. Their comical acts  may be over the top in movies . Some border on vulgarity and crassness but in real life they are a scream.  Everyone spouts about how this one movie will make us think deeply or awaken our senses  or change the film industry forever , and then they  dish up the stuff  probably my grandfather or his father saw in the pre- Talkies days The over-the-hill-and-so-far-far-away old men with wigs trying to romp the Styrofoam moulded nubile young things amuses me so much  that I again and again willingly part with my money. The "serious"actors and directors  are even funnier - they take mundane ideas and then pretend they discovered it . Thank god for the ones who are clear that they make movies to make money .

Sports commentators who stutter and mutter   , ad men who make ridiculously stupid ads about toothbrushes , plaque and health drinks  , religious nuts who give crazy explantions for  god's wrath in the form of earthquakes and floods , bigots who dishonour their gods by shoving them down other people's throats , tv anchors who screech and squawk and wave their arms about , minsters who prostrate easily because of lack of a spinal cord ,  government officials who grovel for those above them  and strut and posture to  those below them  - imagine life without all this real life comical elements. What would I do if I cannot open a magazine and see air-brushed and photo-shopped women  peddling some horrendous clothes and jewellery , metro men in ridiculous underwear , silly shoes or turnip-sized watches and be totally amused. 

We need these people for every one of them was created to  keep us joyous and happy  :   the charlatan with fake degrees ,  the  liars who claim they went to Ivy League institutions, the self-righteous spoke persons of the divine who tell us how to live and die. 

There is some sadness though in all this - If do feel sad for those who actually  believe them and take them seriously .
 Hoping my heat-addled brain can work again on Monday .