MondayMindBlast

I don't know how many people noted the fact that I missed  consecutive Mondays. Personal inconveniences ( and we all have those niggling bugs that keep us away from productive work) and global tragedies  created a more sombre mood in me .
 I know there are a few friends who read my blog loyally ,they  may not enjoy it week after week but they read it anyway . There are many things we do for a friend because we know it matters to them a great deal even if it seems frivolous to us . We often  go along with an idea , even if personally we are not exactly enthusiastic about it . We prevent them from emotional disasters  , at the risk of them sulking at us for a day , a week or even what seems to later  turn out to be forever. A friend I once  warned about a lascivious jerk did not believe me at first.   So well had he ensnared her , she could not see him dripping lewdness. She was very angry with me  and stopped talking to me . It was only when his mask slipped much later , that she realised it and  we went back to being friends as if the pervert had never existed .  Just picked up where we had left years ago !
 My friend , who is always worried about my wild outspoken ways said to me the other day ;"what if these people you write about ( you know the pompous academics or the la-di-dah social wannabes ) read your stuff and get angry with you"?
 I assured her that such people never read anything , they are too lazy or too busy with self-promotion. "In  any case ," I asked her , "who would want to underline the fact that they are the pompous asses/ brainless dodos I am talking about  hm"?
  This  friend is special for she is  one who has outlasted my crazy adolescence days and my even wilder prepubescent wackiness and rambunctiousness.  It is true isn't it : a Friend can see through you and still enjoy the show !
About shows - I am all  for attending those "to be seen" theatre events . Other than the fantastic actual  show , the side show is great fun. It's the place where to just sit in a seat  in a dark theatre , people dress up as if they are going to be on stage. At theatre festivals I  shamelessly eavesdrop and hear blowing the wind from these gas bags statements like - " when I watched ...... show  in Broadway"  or  "I never miss theatre in London , or at the Opera House in ..... when we went on our usual Euro trip ( nota bene the stress on usual !) . I also ponder did the usher lead them out politely or did the bouncer chuck them out - if their loud comments and artificial guffaws at all the wrong moments are anything to go by. If I am ever to act ( and no one I know will risk that )  my career on stage would come to an abrupt end with the act of my chucking my shoe at the offending creatures . That , however legitimate and laudable the cause may be , is not the actual  reason I won't ever  make it on stage . The truth is that I can play only two roles with aplomb - Deer Frozen in the Headlights or Coma Patient in hospital  bed ;  the second too ,  if I am assured that the scene will last just  a few minutes. Lying still is imposable for me . The only time I go into that that kind of stupor is during a post-lunch power point  presentation. The stomach is happy , the lights are dimmed and my body tells my brain : "hush  little one , breathe gently , relax and I will ensure that you are not caught , by fixing the eyelids into frozen posture".
Freezing always brings me to those ladies who happily inject distilled snake venom converted into serum to freeze the nerves for six months . They end up with these frozen grins that look painted upon them in red , burgundy or fuchsia dependning on their lipstick.  They are meant to  to erase their frown and laugh  lines - yeah those over-the-hill and desperate-to-pass-off-as-thirty  botox aunties. I always assumed the laugh lines were there to show what a zany life you were leading ; the frown to announce to  the world that you survived and even managed to raise a decent kidor two  . The crinkles at the  corner of my eyes, I truly believe,  speaks of the lovely and ugly things that I have seen in life and still managed to retain my sanity and humour.
So really , when the sales girl  at the upmarket cosmetic counter asked  me : " ma'am would you like to try  some of our new  wrinkle cream ",  I really didn't know whether to tell her I am proud of my lines as I have earned them  or to give her a lecture about what a disaster sales person she is for  telling women that they need wrinkle cream !
More MindBlast soon !