My word , how the week flies and the weekend it's like the Red Bull advertisement - it really does have wings. The reason I felt this week go by so quickly was because it was a good week. It's always a good week if one feels vindicated - it was good to see a detestable pompous person eat crow. It's so true what they say - the smaller the man , the bigger the ego . So this person was quite convinced that I was not needed in his scheme of professional work . That was quite alright with me , like a realist , I had resigned myself to that fact and got on to other activities . There is so much to do out there if one moves out of that comfort zone we all love to wallow in and shake ourselves up a bit. But the gods, they really can be so wicked , always love to meddle , so Mr Pomposity was forced to pick up the phone , call me and plead for my assistance .Don't we all love that moment - that special moment that should be put on 'Pause"so we can savour it a bit longer . Now it is wicked to enjoy another's discomfiture but what is life if there are no nasty moments for nasty people.
Nasty and neighbours seem to go hand in hand like teeter-totter or teeny-weeny or hoity-toity. When the fire and brimstone pastor thundered from the pulpit about "Love Thy Neighbour" on Sunday , it made me wonder why Neighbour , why not Love Thy Cousin, or Love Thy Insufferable Aunt . Then I realised what a whacky sense of humour God had - you can love anyone as long they are afar; but loving your neighbour now that's a real challenge! I have had an assortment of them but there are some who are unforgettable for they were insufferable. One that leaps to my mind is the goody goody busybody self-appointed trustee of my virtue , who waylaid my husband when he returned from tour to inform my husband that his brother visited me while he was out of town ( oh dear me !) . My reluctant brother-in-law had been ordered by my husband to drop by and make sure I was ok while he was away . Oh how that answer disappointed her, all the joy of life dissipated ! Then there was this deranged lady who would beat her daughter and son with steel plates and their pitiful howls were unbearable. She , just as a matter of interest , was a qualified psychiatrist . How many affected people she drove to complete insanity , I truly have no idea but I was mighty relieved when she upped and left one day - hopefully to the Hades. Then there are of course the Borrowers of everything from ladders to bottle openers , the Know-it-Alls who tell you everything from how to set your table to how the country should be run , the Leapers
-from-behind-walls who want to tell you about their son in the US or daughter in UK or Australia , the Waylayers who just wait for you to emerge from your front door and jump right in front of you with some inane comment about bus fares or milk prices .... truly the list is endless . Having mastered the art of escaping from these sundry creatures I impart the secret to you - just wheeze and in a raspy voice say you have the flu and they will jump right out of the way. For the more stubborn variety you could try the swine flu variation with a burst of coughing .
Talking about exotic diseases always reminds me of the time in school when our entire gang wanted to play hookey from a Maths test and wandered off to sit in the air conditioned Library . Of course we were caught and marched off to the Principal's office . We stood in a line in front of the glowering Principal who asked each in turn why we missed the test . The first one said she had a headache , the next settled for stomach pain. The next took a neck pain and the next claimed she had a toothache . By the time it was my turn there was no part of the part of the body left , so out tumbled from my mouth : "Sister , I sprained my spinal cord". " Thank God she had a sense of humour and laughed and sent us off to class . Humour I realised can save many a day . Like the time I was caught ( seems my school life was all about getting caught ) grinning like jackass in the midst of a shake down ( yes it was the same Sister God bless her soul) and she turned and asked what was amusing me . From somewhere I heard myself say : My lips were twitching and I was only stretching them a bit ".
More MindBlast next Monday !
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