Monday MindBlast

Monday mornings aren't just about blues - its about every shade of indigo . I do believe  all about relativity - how long the week lingers and how fast the weekend zips through . When I daydream  , as I am so wont to do throughout the week , I think of all those delightful things to do on Saturday and Sunday and the the special god appointed for Ruining Weekends works overtime and throws totally  everything out of gear for me . By the way , the  "wont" is neither a typo nor a short form of some eighteen syllable word shortened in the fashion of the tweetters and WhatsAppers but rather in  the style of the Bard - good old Bill or Mr William Shakespeare as some of you may better  know him.  Can someone explain to me the mystery of why the person who can text Gud finds it difficult to add the extra alphabet and say Good instead . Good sounds so good whereas Gud sounds like the jaggery sold in kirana stores .Then of course it took me quite sometime  to figure who the mysterious N was who pops up  in the texts I get from the young ones until after much deliberation and re-reading it hit me that  it was used for and. Really ? Is it  so difficult to text "and" ?   So when you tweet you really do turn into a birdbrain - how telling is the logo of the blue birdie ?

Talking about birdbrains - all those syrupy cloyingly sweet stuff I hope has been carefully stored away either to be burnt , returned or re-read at a later date - depending on whether the Charlie or the Jane of this year  lasts till next Valentine's Day.There are of course the thrifty ones who just take their present beau or beloved  to the card section in the store and read out the card they would have  given them. How special is that? Frankly , I think if you find one Cheapskate  like that , my advice is get serious about this one : I mean a person this thrifty isn't going to be unfaithful later in life  - infidelity and adultery costs money ! Huge costs can be a huge deterrent , the "other"  woman  will expect to be plied with gifts and toyboys are usually quite broke and need to be fed and clothed and sometimes require college fees to be paid,  too. I guess all these warning were inbuilt in the commandment Thou shall not commit adultery . After all how  could Moses the Patriarch carve all this in detail on a single  stone tablet of the size he could hold and lug down Mount Sinai?  . Actually wonder if God really did say it or was it Moses' brainwave?  

About God ( if you believe in the mono ) or Gods ( if you are the Pantheon of Gods kind  - the more the merrier kind of person ) -those that think man was  created in his ( hers or their)  own image,  its better to do some serious re-think.  All you atheists  who are convinced that we are an exotic cocktail  of a  lot of chemical stuff that  came together perfectly ( sounds terribly liked blind  date and those always go so terribly wrong) you  better do some rethinking,too. Then there are the scientific kind who insist we  are  perfect working and computing machine and we've got this brain which has the potential of the universe trapped inside ( obviously they have never come out of the labs and met the hundreds  idiots  who I keep  meeting  !). Maybe when they  finally unravel it all ,  we may need another brain to understand it. Now for the truth :  just stand in front of the mirror and look at  the oh-so-many parts stick out at odd angles and how many   dangle in the most embarrassing manner.  Looks like all the God or Gods ( your , mine and theirs) may be good at a zillion things  but  definitely flunked the course on external ( human)scaping .   

 That is the real reason  humankind decided on clothes.  Of course,  Eve sharing the apple with Adam  helped and don't believe those misogynists who blame Eve for the Fall of Man - imagine if she hadn't shared it with Adam - we women would be fashionistas and all the men would be running around naked ( ugh!) Seriously , test tube babies would have come about before the invention of the wheel. All those awkward body parts that tend to  love gravity so much  can now be turned into  flowing appearances. How many apparel houses that have become major power brokers would not have existed were it not for the Apple . Surely it should be their logo and not of  tech gizmos . I hope , along with Goddess Lakshmi the drapers, tailors and garment exporters  are propitiating Eve too  . 

Same applies to all those who create unwearable clothes which  girls  with most unhappy faces and guys with sheepish expression ( "I need the money therefore I do this " look)  walk in. It beats me how the gals manage the forty five degree angle tilt throughout their ramp strut without the aid of wires , stirrups and  halters  to hold them up.  I am equally  flummoxed by their  ability to maintain the bored look throughout the show..  Fashion shows bore me to death with all that walking up and down , somehow it always seems to be pointing out that I don't get enough exercise .

Exercising , walking and I parted ways long ago , from the day I realised I can get my endorphin rush and spice up my life from hot peppers and other much more interesting stuff. I hate gyms. It has nothing to do with cougars in bulge-showing leotards making mooney eyes at trainers ( who I am sure roll on the floor with laughter when they recount their  shenanigans with their wives and girlfriends later ) nor with the wannabe George Clooneys in shorts three times small with spindly hairy legs,  jiggling their middle age spread acquired by  lusty eating and living ; not even the thought of sweaty handles and perspiration-smelling mats and benches - no ,  its sheer Fear . Fear that like so many I will spin in a  ruthless cycle ,  like some form of Karmic Wheel,   of exercise to burn fat -feel hungry - eat more - exercise more to burn that- feel hungrier - exercise more to burn that .... you got the picture. Now before you snort at that with disdain , I have many acquaintances who have started and quit ( and I know i cannot do this forever - hell , even Love doesn't last forever ) and they have doubled and even trebled . That is the scary thing I was referring to ! 

More MindBlast next Monday !